Make It Happen: 14 Things to Stop Doing in 2014

“Allow me to be straight-to-the-point; however I’ll clarify with 14 down-to-earth course of action. We are all living with the objective of being happy.”

At times the path to happiness depends more on what you don't do.

Happiness in your business life and your personal life is often a matter of subtraction,
not addition.

Reflect on, for instance, what happens when you stop doing
the following little and snappy things:

*Notice how headers are stressed in present active tense J “ing”
--to indicate time of action is NOW! ...and this is it;

1. Blaming.

People make mistakes. Friends piss us off. Employees don't meet your expectations.
Vendors don't deliver on time... then your spouse leaves you 100 bob when you projected for a thousand!

So you blame them for your problems.

But you're also to blame. Maybe you didn't provide enough training.
Perhaps the timing too is not appropriate. Maybe you didn't build in enough of a buffer.
Maybe you asked too much, too soon. All this revolves around our expectations and timing.

Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming others isn't masochistic,
it's empowering--because then you focus on doing things better or smarter next time.

And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier.

2. Impressing.

No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, your belly button or your accomplishments. Those are all "things." People may like your things--but that doesn't mean they like you.

Sure, on the surface they might seem to, but face appearance is also insubstantial, and a relationship that is not based on substance is not a real relationship.

Genuine relationships make you happier, and you'll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself. There’s nothing in a caterpillar that tells us it’s going to be a butterfly.

3. Clinging.

When you're afraid or insecure, you hold on tightly to what you know, even if what you know isn't particularly good for you.

The absence of fear or insecurity isn't happiness: It's just an absence of fear or insecurity.

Holding on to what you think you need won't make you happier; letting go so you can reach for and try to earn what you want will.

Life is round. What goes around comes around. What may seem like the end may also be the beginning. Even if you don't succeed in earning what you want, the act of trying alone will make you start feeling better about yourself.

4. Interrupting.

Butting in isn't just rude. When you interrupt someone, what you're really saying is, "I'm not listening to you so I can understand what you're saying; I'm listening to you so I can decide what I want to say."

Want people to like you? Listen to what they say. Focus on what they say. Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say. Learn to use your ears first, then your mouth after -
particularly in that order.

They'll love you for it--and you'll love how that makes you feel.

5. Whining.

 Your words have power, especially over you. We’ve seen it a lot on our social statuses and posts… with Facebook.com carrying our most complicated ones. Whining about your problems makes you feel worse, not better.

If something is wrong, don't waste time complaining. Posting it bluntly on Fb also won’t offer much remedy as everyone else is busy updating theirs. Rather put that effort into making the situation better. Unless you want to whine about it forever, eventually you'll have to do that. So why waste time? You’ll just be exposing your in-house therapy crisis. Fix it now.
Don't rant about what's wrong when you have an added difficulty on your part that needs to be fixed. Fulfill it fast or don’t bother spraying users’ timelines with your troubles. Half of them don’t care, and most likely the other half are your friends who think you probably had it coming.

Chew the fat off and talk on how you'll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself. Home is the place where you can say whatever you want to. No one will be listening to you anyway.

Unless you are working in a cleaning department or some public toilet, start fixing this - and do the same with your friends, colleagues and social group. Don't just be the shoulders they cry on.

Friends don't let friends whine--friends help friends make their lives better. Until our good is better and our better is best – Never let it rest.

6. Controlling.

Yeah, you're the boss. Yeah, you're the titan of industry. Yeah, you're the small tail that wags a huge dog - you want to be the lion in the den.

Still, the only thing you really control is you. If you find yourself trying hard to control other people, you've decided that you, your goals, your dreams, or even just your opinions are more important than theirs.

Plus, control is short-term at best, because it often requires force, or fear, or authority, or some form of pressure--none of those let you feel good about yourself. Have you come across those wanna-be`s who are all over and love being famous and won’t let you carry your part in any conversation? – A good number don’t even know what to do with a rainy Sunday afternoon!

Find people who want to go where you're going. They'll work harder, have more fun, share and create better business and personal relationships.

And all of you will be happier.

7. Criticizing.

Yeah, you're more educated. Yeah, you're more experienced. Yeah, you've been around more compounds and climbed more mountains and slayed more dragons and yeah, you’ve fried more eggs... well.

That doesn't make you smarter, or better, or more insightful.

That just makes you you: unique, matchless, one of a kind, but in the end, just you.

Just like everyone else--including your employees.

Everyone is different: not better, not worse, just different. Appreciate the differences instead of the shortcomings and you'll see people--and yourself--in a better light.

8. Preaching.

Criticizing has a next of kin. Her name is preaching. They share the same mother: Judging.

The higher you rise and the more you accomplish, the more likely you are to think you know everything--and to tell people everything you think you know. Spiritual friends typically suffer from this. But let’s be clear; Salvation is a journey--no living soul has yet arrived to a destination in heaven to proclaim he/ she is saved..., until we meet and get decided upon by our utmost Savior. Majority of ‘saved’ people use the word with finality - and embark on living a life of conclusiveness. The Holy Book is clear, and whereupon you come across the word [saved] it is unmistakably preceded or escorted with an auxiliary word ‘Shall’ - which ordinary English tells us is an expression of future event, situation or forthcoming occurrence. Its other supplementary family member is ‘Will’. The two words are always around the word salvation in every bible citation. Meaning one should be ready to consent and undertake the conditions that come with His commands and call of duty. It’s an obligation, and until then; as it is written in the book of Isaiah the prophet: [Isaiah 40:3-5]

“This is a voice of one who calls out in the desert: ‘Prepare the way for the Lord. Make the road straight for him. Every valley should be filled in, and every mountain and hill should be made flat. Roads with turns should be made straight, and rough roads should be made smooth. And all people will know about the salvation of God!’ ” ~ Luke 3:4-6

Most people don’t have beef with ‘saved’ individuals, but I find it hard to hold it back when one hears it from this recent ‘saints’ - whom a majority of the ‘preacher-judge’ personality is found among their groupies -- quoting without supporting; praying without performing. Bottom line, don’t seek to inform, seek to motivate and inspire.

When you speak with more finality than foundation, people may hear you but they don't listen. Few things are sadder and leave you feeling less happy. Learn to tell apart between knowledge and wisdom. One helps you make a living, the other helps you get a life.

9. Dwelling.

The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others.

Then let it go.

Easier said than done? It depends on your focus. Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it. When something terrible happens to you, see that as an opportunity to learn something you didn't know. When another person makes a mistake, see that as a chance to be kind, forgiving, and understanding.

The past failures are just training; it doesn't define you. Think about what went wrong, but only in terms of how you will make sure that, next time, you and the people around you will know how to make sure it goes right. Perhaps it’s a hard to understand breakup, quit dwelling on it mostly if you tried your best and it bounced. Move on—let them catch up. No relationship is ever a waste of your time. If it didn’t bring you what you want, it taught you what you don’t want. Spice up, breathe in and spin back into the ‘market’ with your new skills.

10. Procrastinating.

“Yesterday you said tomorrow!” We are all guilty of this... so you are not alone? Even if - Don’t be happy - [Procrastinator].
It’s a ‘scientific’ word for deferring success! Conventional Oxford vocabulary expresses it as dragging your feet or delaying action. And ironically, the dictionary is the only place that success comes before work. There is no such thing as a long piece of work, except one that we dare not start. Get up, Dress up, & Show up - “Be quick but don’t hurry.”

11. Arguing.
Quarrelling is same as arguing – like you’re always in the opposition. People generally quarrel because they cannot argue, especially if they are self-centered. This is an indication that you are in love with yourself. The key feature of an argumentative person is pride, stubbornness and lack of respect. One must respect the opinions of others even if one disagrees with them. Where all think alike, no one thinks very much. Disagreements are meant to stir us, not to discourage -- and it is wise to be sensible, civil and maintain level-headedness with an affirmative attitude by your approach, while you agree to disagree. A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy the arguing party enough to make it worth the effort.

12. Pretending.

Rather fail with respect than succeed by pretense. However much we guard ourselves against it, we tend to profile ourselves in the image others have of us. That’s inferiority complex. It is not a disease – but a self-infectious set of symptoms brought about by low self-esteem, inadequacy and setting of low standards for ourselves.  It is not so much the example of other people we imitate, as the reflection of ourselves in their eyes and the echo of ourselves in their words. Let’s not confuse pretending with faking. Fake is applicable no more than in film industry and delivering services. It is better to appear fake but deliver, than pretend to be and not deliver! Improve your standards and work on building confidence while being yourself from body and soul. Praying alone cannot be a solution. Before God can deliver us from ourselves we must undeceive ourselves.

You cannot hold a torch to light another’s path without brightening yours. Treat and reward yourself regularly, and after every good deed or accomplishment and then live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to share your eulogy in heaven. It’s only then you’ll begin to appreciate yourself while celebrating your qualities.

13. Mourning.

The heaviest thing that one can carry is a grudge. The most terrible ache you could ever wish away besides toothache is heartbreak.

Lost a loved one? Someday you’ll get over it;

Broken relationship? Take a chance with someone else – or something;
Lost your job? Move – you’re not a tree! Get on with your life;

If it’s a Terminal Illness, you’re not dead yet. Take another breath.

What’s destined to be will always find its way.
There is a time for everything,
and everything on earth has its special season.

There’s a time to be born and a time to die. There’s a time to cry
and a time to laugh.

“This is word of the Lord...”
[Ecclesiastes 3:1-8] is clear on that and more...
Whatever happens was planned long ago.

Back to earth - let’s use the computer example;

Human minds are much like computers...
Your mind is your visual display unit and the heart the CPU!
We tend to save and remember what we’ve seen, cherished
and are dearly fond of.

It is possible we can partition our memory and selectively
trash what we don’t require within or outside our brain cells.
If there’s reason enough to bring it back from the archive it has

to be scanned first, by the heart... and this is when the process

of transferring emotions occur. This can be used conversely to our advantage
only if we make out how to anchor on it and use the past failures and emotional
setbacks as the restart button for a clean reboot.
The amount and type of data or recollection may as well grind you down
or polish you up depending on how far you fetched from or
what has compensated for its loss.

If it weighs you down the only solution is a quick REBOOT.

Here’s how to do it.

We have three phases of time we typically recycle
in our minds: The past, present and future.

80% of our time should be spent in the present

15% in the future, and
5% or less in the past.

The past tells us our history, where we have been, what we have learned,
and cannot be changed. So it is best left for reflection and lessons.
It can be tough if you’ve lost a loved one,
but it all depends on what you are made of.

Those are precious moments and should be treasured
as such and nothing more. The support system that
we keep around us will also determine how fine we move on.
Friends and family ought to be your best security and sanctuary.

Now, the next thing we need to look at is the present.

This is where the unintentional thoughts can truly slow us down.
You would be amazed at what your mind is processing on
right now, and you aren’t aware of it.

In order to fully REBOOT our minds we need to go to a quiet place.
Get a big yellow pad or your NEW diary and begin to do a brain dump.
Everything you’re thinking about or have been... put it down.
The goal is to totally and fully flush out the system so as to allow space
for creativity. This leads us to the future and seeing things in a new light.

We need to get crystal clear how we want 2014 to turn out.
This is one of the biggest skills you can develop in life;
the ability to paint the future.

(...to be continued)

14. Fearing.

We're all afraid of what might or might not happen; of what we can't change,
or what we won't be able to do and accomplish, or how other people might perceive us.

So it's easier to hesitate, to wait for the right moment, to decide we need to think a little longer or do some more research or explore a few new and innovative alternatives.

In the meantime days, weeks, months, and even years pass us by.

And so do our dreams.

The castle you’ve been building in the air... time is now to bring it down.
Give it a foundation and form.

Don't let your fears hold you back. Whatever you've been planning,
whatever you've imagined, whatever you've dreamed of, get it happening TODAY.

The greatest mistake we can make in life is to continually fear that we will make one.

If you want to start a business, take the first step.
If you want to change careers, take the first step.
If you want to expand or enter a new market or
offer new products or services, take the first step.
If you wanted to start a blog, launch your website or create a page
start typing, register it and click the button.
If you want to resign, be the first signatory!

Put your fears aside and get started. Do something. Do anything.

Otherwise, yesterday is gone. Once tomorrow comes, today is lost forever.

Today is the most precious asset you own--and is the one thing you should truly fear wasting.

  

~ Be Happier

You don’t need a New Year to make a change...

All you need is a Monday!

Make this the week you change your living.

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PS: Something to anchor on from the past. 

Listen to the words in this one time popular hit song; 

it wasn't to a great extent eligible in your gospel register; 

as well as I didn't place the artist's name for obvious reasons. 

But if familiar with it... just be keen on the lyrics.

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Watch: __