Cups of Copy

To the citizens of the United States of America,  from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up ' revocation ' in the Oxford English Dictionary.) Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota , which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~...

– A ‘Horse’ Called “Marylou” Laughter is the best medicine A Man was sitting quietly reading his paper one Saturday morning, peacefully enjoying himself, and the wife busy doing laundry - when she suddenly STOPS, sneaks up behind him and slaps him on the back of his head with a frying pan - MAN: “What the heck was that for?” WIFE: “What the heck is this piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it for? MAN: Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races at Ngong? Marylou was one of the best horses I placed a bet on.” The wife looked all satisfied, composes, apologizes, and goes off to do chores around the house. 3 days later the man is once again sitting in his favorite couch watching the news bulletin and the wife this time not hiding her rage, burst out and smacks the right-side of his head with his phone. MAN: “Ouch…! My phone!! What was that for this time…?” WIFE: “Your horse phoned.” ………………………………………………….. ::...